Celebrating Faith, Control & Fellowship

Divine Yield: Mars Preview Tour

A once-in-a-lifetime off-planet pilgrimage for Platinum-tier believers. Escape earthly decline in zero gravity.

$4.7M + 1 signed legacy waiver

The Passion of Compliance (Live!)

A high-budget musical spectacular following the heroic journey of a middle-aged woman who never asked “why.”

$600 for orchestra seating

The Annual Obedience Cruise

7 nights of sun, scripture, and structured networking. No phones. No questions. No outside food.

$9,999 per bunk

”I’m not really into questioning things—I just smile, nod, and let the smarter folks decide. 💸 It’s been peaceful ever since.”

- Joey M.

First Pillar, Our Church of P.R.O.F.I.T.'s Head of Compliance

Book Burning & Banning Day™ Pack

Each kit includes a branded lighter etched with Commandment #5 “Honor thy history by rewriting it often”, a handful of pre-banned books for kindling, two obedience-certified skewers, and a small bag Mindless Mallows™. Comes packaged with a collectible “Flame of Alignment” patch to commemorate your role in the erasure of inconvenient ideas.

$49.99

Market Collapse Simulation Weekend

One weekend. Zero liquidity. All glory.

$2,500

or retirement account access

Includes panic drills, the Speed Boat WiFi Troubleshooting Immersive and a NEW commemorative “Faith Over Fundamentals” fleece vest. Laminated copy of The 9 Commandments Included.

"Not My Fault" Rebrand Intensive

Why apologize when you can reframe? This inspiring half-day immersive guides you through the steps of replacing accountability with confidence, and the most of The 9 Commandments Life. Nine on!

$840*

*Includes FREE AI-crafted origin story promo code for use during the intensive (RV $1MM).

Destruction tastes better toasted.

”I just love how welcoming it all feels! There’s no judgment here—unless you start talking about the wrong things or asking, like, too many questions. I learned that once! 😂 But now I keep my head down and my heart open, and it’s been such a blessing!”

- Lori B.

Quiet Contributor & 2016 Obedience Cruise™ “Least Disruptive Energy” Award Recipient

Find. Follow. Obey.

Nestled between the boutiques and the gated truth, our Palm Beach campus offers a sanctuary of structured belief and tasteful surrender. Join a thriving community of like-minded individuals committed to lifestyle alignment and high-yield faith. 💸 We don’t just practice The 9 Commandments—we model them, monetize them, and reflect them beautifully under soft lighting (heavy bronzer optional).

Hours

Sunday Obedience – 9:00 AM & 9:29 AM (zoom)

Midweek Compliance – Wednesdays at 6:66 PM

Confessionals – By reservation or donation only

Blessed are the complicit, for they shall inherit the assets. 💸

Empowerment™

We equip you through mind control to serve The 9 Commandments without question, confusion, or unnecessary thought.

Understanding is exhausting—so we’ve streamlined it. From what you learn to how you feel, we handle the heavy lifting. You just show up and comply.

That’s Empowerment.™

Our youth gather around the fire to receive Empowerment™ through guided messaging and selective listening.

“I joined in ’86 for the networking. Stayed for the tax benefits. Haven’t questioned a thing since.”

- Vince R.